tl19650401-000 "TOWSON STATE COLLEGE TOWSON, MARYLAND WER TRITE WEAKLY Vol. XVII, No. 19a April 1, 1965 EXT_ A Happy April 1, From All The T.L. Fools Have A Good Day - It's Your Day EXTRA SO Million Grant To TSC Plans Include Rec Center Annapolis, April 1 The Maryland State Legisla-ture passed a bill yesterday Which allocated fifty million dollars for building on the Tow-son campus. The allocation was Split into separate monies for: three new 300 student dorms; a new gymnasium; a new College Centre, including adequate of-fices for student organizations, several meeting rooms, offices for instructors, sound-proof and separate from the rest of the Centre, a large student snack bar-restaurant, a two thousand student cafeteria with several kitchen-dispensary facilities; a five story parking garage, in Which each floor will park 400 automobiles. A separate recreation centre which includes indoor facilities for intramural Sports, a complete bowling alley each lane being con-vertable between duck pins and ten pins, a heated swim-ming pool complete with arti-ficial daylight and huge sun-lamps, a large dance floor and band stand with stereo sound system for record hops), a co-ed pool room having both pocket and regular billiard tables (20 in all) a tournament size Ping-pong room with padded Walls, an ice rink with a thirteen thousand spectator seating (to go with Tow-son's National Hockey League team); an enclosed stadium for Towson's Ameri-can league football and liaseball teams; an experi- Nental submarine station for education department ex- Periments; a red telephone hot line for social science in-structors to make their views known in the Capitol; indoor grass tennis courts for Dr. McCleary; a museum for the art department; foreign consul officers moved to Towson for the language department; a moving pic-ture theatre for uncut ver- 'lions of NEA training films; a tea parlor for the English department; a zoo for the psYchology department run bY the biology department; Univac to replace the math lepartment; a Beatle library 1.1)r the music department; 't detachment of Marines to take ph)sical education courses as proxies for Tow-son students; a morgue for the health department. Mr. Donald Fastoutskate, Towson admissions director, noted that the bill also appro-priated seven twenty-classroom academic buildings. ""I simply cannot conceive our being able to find enough entrants to fill all of this classroom space, said Fastoutskate. Other administrators, who wish to remain anonymous, were asked their opinions of the proposed complex, and showed frank dissapproval of the tre-mendous waste of state money for classrooms�""they, said one, could have used the money for artificial lake on campus."" (Continued on Page 8) With the advent of warmer, sunnier days, this TSC student suddenly found an hour and fifteen minute class just a little too long to endure. After an exhausting hour of rigorous note-taking, he finally suc-cumbed to sleep and was left to his fate by his obviously sadistic classmates. Fortunately, a kindly coed in the next class awakened him in time for lunch. Faculty Reaps Rewards: Awards, Citations Abound It has come to the attention of the Tower Trite News Desk (male division) that Towson's faculty has been extremely ac-tive this year. Many books have been published, and numerous awards have been garnered by pur faculty. Unfortunately, most of these feats have gone un-acknowledged by the students and, in most cases, by the faculty members as well. Now, the truth shall be told. Mr. Daihl and Mr. Moore-field have just completed their latest bok, How to Get Static Electricity From a Girl's flair on a Rainy Day: From the Movie by the Same Name. Dr. Matthews has just writ-ten The Virginia Really was the Merrimac: or There WERE Politics Run Rampant As SGA Rages Over Issues, Election Towson rears its political head this month as students and Faculty alike anticipate the Student Government Associa-tion elections. Pollsters predict a 99.999% vote turn-out for the elections, as has been tradition-al in past years; the student body here has long been known for its avid participation in political affairs, and the cam-paign promises to be the usual knock-down and drag-em-out af-fair, as student politicians ar-gue issues and principles. The primary issues in the campaign seem to be the fol-lowing: Whether the College Centre Board will be allowed to Lake the SGA president's office and convert it to a College Centre Board Chairman's office; whether the SGA treasurer should be able to count past 100, provided he can use an adding machine; whether Tower Light should put its exchange copies in the middle of the student lounge floor, or keep them for reference in the TL, office; whether the SGA should pass a June resolution; whether the Senate parliamentarian should have speaking privileges; There are other heady topics current-ly under discussion on campus, but they are too numerous to onumerate, and too complicated Lo expostulate here. The problems facing the can-didates, once they are elected are numerous: the integration problem�swift action needed here, by the social chairman, to get men and women together in harmony on the dance floor� possible enemy forces include the frug, the twist, etc.; the poverty problem (connected with he welfare problem) the treas-urer will have to take quick action to alleviate poverty pock-ets among student organiza-tions; the crime wave�efforts must be made to nail down everything that is not red-hot, especially bulletin board mater-ials, and student property (books, clothing, etc.) ; the space program�Towson needs all the space it is able to get�perhaps tents may be used to partially alleviate this problem during warmer months; foreign policy �NSA co-ordinator will need to up-date WUS Week activities to suit a larger student body; communications � all students will have to make an effort to keep this vital, but tenuous, line of discourse open between students and faculty as well as between students and students. Parking Needed Here: Science Building Goes lt was learned here today that, due to the increasing park-ing problem, the new science building is to be torn down and replaced by a 12-car parking lot. The science building, due to open in September of 1964, was to help accomodate the influx of new students into Towson next year, but, as one administration official put it, ""What's the use of new classrooms if the stu-dents have no place to park?"" lt is reported that the mater-ials for the science building will be used to extend the walkways system by providing a place to walk all the way to Lake Aven- UC. The science department is visibly disturbed, and one Pro-fessor has suggested that new courses in Advanced Parking, Asphalt Sniffing, and Fresh Air be included in the curriculum. Enough Confederates, They Just Couldn't Fight. The math department has collaborated on a work en-titled _4 Remedial Text for .Vath Teachers: or, You Can Divide by Zero. Mr. Reitenbach has finished his Drug Addiction for Fun and Profit. The Effects of Malnutrition on Student Performance is Dr. Gardner's contribution. The Education department has jointly written a book called, Life in a Mahogany Foxhole. The English department has written, Passing Fresh-men Can be a New Experi-ence. The World is Flat: or How Wide is the Ocean is the Geo-graphy department's newest treatise. On the award side, Dr. Burner, for his work on the atomic submarine Nautilus, has been awarded One Giant Squid. Mr. Cox has won the nation-al ""Can I Talk About This for a Minute"" contest. In addition to writing a song called -Please Remem-ber"" (to be sung to the tune of Lonely Acres), Dr. Mc- Cleary has been given the Eisenhower award as the Republican of the year. Towson's Health Center won the national ""Giving Aspirins for Broken Legs"" contest. They narrowly missed winning the ""Amputations for Headaches"" meet, finishing a close third to the Mayo Clinic and a local funeral parlor. Dr. McGill has been named Spaniard of the year, Mr. Ray has been named ""Manta"" of the year. Mr. Killian has been awarded 350 -Lassies"" to go with his -Laddies."" Dr. Casset has been given the Jung award for outstanding contributions to the image of Sigmund Freud. Drs. Onion and _Andrews have won the national Rush to Finish the Course contest. Miss Kahl has been given a medal for being the most po- LITical of the year. We of Tower Trite hope that these contributions by our fac-ulty will not be kept from the students. It's interesting to see where the talents of our fac-ulty are buried. (Continued on Pulp 5) "
