tl19510401-000 "THE TIGHT LOWER? Vol. 0, No. ? � STATE TEACHERS COLLEGE, TOWSON, MD. April 1, 1951 Glen Scene Of Rich Gold Discovery Day in the Life a Daily Worker by U. Alwright (This report is from a direct interview with Miss Katrinka Nov-goroda, a key member in the Sub-servise Activities League at one of our large Northwestern Univer-sities. Miss Novgoroda has been, among other things, chairman of the Anti-Sex League, chairman of the W.A.T.P. or Women's Auxiliary Thought Police, and recently head-ed the newly formed Committee for the Extermination of Capitalist Vermin.) When I first approached Miss Novgoroda with the request for an interview, I must confess I was a little scared. But after I had known her for only a few brief moments, I was terrified. She put me corn- Publication Void; Editors at Work The TOWER LIGHT will suspend publication until next September because of insufficient funds and lack of student support. The Editors will go to work to earn money to pay the paper's debts. They will try to lay aside enough cash to insure a successful venture in the term beginning next Sep-tember. The Editors agree that it was their fault that the paper is now in debt and that the obligation should be paid by them. Therefore, they have received a leave of absence provided they return to college in September to complete their educa-tion and they will be graduated with the class of February '51. Because of their deep remorse and contrite feelings at having caused the college such embarrass-ment, and at having been respon-sible for the publication suspen-sion, the Editors have consented to abide by the terms of the SGA's ruling. Joan Milliarini, Editor, has made plans to collect frogs and sell them to hopeful biologists at the college. Laura Witlam, Feature Editor, has accepted a position to compose po-iltical speeches, while Sylvia God-sey, Managing Editor, has applied for an attendant's position at Shep-herd Pratt so that she might visit the campus once in a while. The Sports Editor, Fred Brown, will sell peanuts at the stadium. Be-tween times, he will care for the tennis courts in the city parks. Other members of the TOWER LIGHT staff have offered to assist the editors by assuming after-school jobs in local theaters as ush-ers and usherettes. They will do-nate to these activities the time they would normally put into work-ing on the paper. The TOWER LIGHT Editor hopes that next year there will be enough money to make the publication the institution that it once was at Tow-son State Teachers College. * * * * A wise monkey is a monkey who doesn't monkey with another mon-key's monkey. pletely at ease, however, when she invited me to her apartment for tea. I hastily agreed and we set out immediately. Soon after we arrived, the samo-var was bubbling merrily, and I found myself in a charming and cozy little room altogether to my liking. By the light of the samovar I could make out the walls papered with old copies of ""Pravda."" As we sat cross-legged on the floor, it occurred to me to wonder why we sat thus. I tactfully in-quired why there were no chairs. Stricking a match on her rope-soled shoes, Katrinka replied, ""Be-cause chairs smack of luxury, and luxury is the unpardonable crime, punishable by death or such other penalties as the party may deem necessary. I learned many things in the course of that interview. Katrinka is a self-made woman. She con-fided to me that she was born on the Steppes of Central Asia, climbed down, and was entrusted with the corruption of the minds of Amer-ican University students. ""A most noble mission!"" I breathed ecstat-ically. Desirous of knowing more about the real Katrinka, I then asked her about her feelings and her philosophy of life. These can be summed up in her own words. ""Borscht, black bread, and good clean smell of sweat: these are the only worthwhile things,"" she said. Sitting cross-legged together here on the bare floor, drinking tea and eating stale black bread, we had become as intimate as one might expect two people to become in such circumstances. But I still was not sure whether I yet dared ven-ture to ask the vital, the ultimate question. I hesitated, stammered a bit, then shrieked boldly, ""Katrinka, what if . . . if you should fail the Kremlin?"" Her voice faltered and there were tears in her eyes as she replied gravely, ""I'd rather flunk my Wasserman test."" * * * � WANTED TO BUY 1 adding machine, equipped with built-in eraser. 6 keys to filing cabi-net ,to be left in convenient places such as: Men's Coat Room Sixth Floor Shower Room, Rich-mond Hall Bus' Souris' Snack Bar Towson Theater box office. Frankie Costello By authority of Don Rogerson Treasurer, SGA. * 34: * FOR SALE One dining hall, furnished. Must vacate immediately. Lost our lease. Reasonable. Mrs. Miss * Elsie Wasson Jean Tait He: ""Please."" She: ""No."" He: ""Just this once!"" She: ""No, I said."" He: ""Aw, shucks, Ma, all the other kids are going barefoot."" Mc Keldin Boosts Teachers Pay Governor McKeldin, Maryland teachers benefactor, visited the campus last week to announce to the future guiders of the younger generation, the arrival of a raise. Gold studded Maryland seals lined the aisles as the Governor and his aides trotted triumphantly through the masses toward the pink marble platform. The Glee Club, under their perky little director, rendered ""The Hal-lelujah Chorus"" when four thou-sand dollars per year was uttered to the astonished crowd. ""What is more, every teacher will be granted a four-week .leave during the school year,"" he con-tinued, ""to give you a chance to catch up with the children."" The Health and Safety commit-tee guided our blessed visitors on tour through the Glen. ""What a lovely fishpond,"" murmured- the Governor as he glanced over the botanical pool. He dictated a let-ter to his fourth secretary suggest-ing that the Glen be transformed into a State Park for Sunday pic-nicers and Saturday lovers. Later in the afternoon as the sun disappeared behind the ivory towerclock, the Factory Advisory Council entertained .the Governor at cocktails in Richmond Banquet Hall. Every student was absent. Caution ! I ! For Men Only �(paiaqtuntnno tu,I) 'azI20Iode I `saTI3el 'P141 IW zuatu ta `sn si112 atr alp auzeqs u i usj �Aaumid Ui .tflOtI O UEUI OU0 Luont aidoad atuos 'no A tAotis 01 saa lsrif u ;Apo ung .10; s! uuxnioa St.LT .sra noA saAaas a11411 Iaa.1 Cpasn aie sae statoo j! 4ins Aetu saauegawmp snopas UO -neo �saeaS 601 42no.u4 sJeaS %I 'sae uaamlaq uatuom 0 uantil paiada.td s! Ism) quapisaad `liaverl aaa ssuk :grim eapatuv Jo siocutp!aN `aattes!nN `AasoN aq,1� `spuaT1.5 poo 2 02e.lane �o2e.tanu mo Aq paianpuoa 2ulaq si saj, sala -ads - otreapaurv - !pimp - autu -tinaa - opto - ope.tanv - on.pAsd sctil `majA Jo lupad reuolleanpa own -uatas otp tuoa; `palsa.talul aa,noiC OSE3 uj lanas u daaN o sap oH Imp& IY?01131 ain a2vJanu� a2e.tanu `32E.IOAE �akluiaive lett). Amps ax. o2 tam Aato .tej oq pue `Innuom `aeiane `aileaane `02iR.10AE `a2e.1ane alp Jo Allsoiana ae.tatce `a2e.tane `aeiaive `0.58.10AE aql uo sIsal po &tutu asotn Jo au� lsnf s! sn{j, �sle2 `44uop 'Ham zpauteqse aim! iaaa ..zatriotre auo uaamiaq la.mas �uutu 02 UBUI� IBUOTSE3D0 u1 axett uoux sn la' tuna lsrif no2c. Lmou pauses noA aas `saapeau uatuom no 'Ham iltglia sem ssan2 Aui tint! lin * * * Statistics show that Yale grads have 1.3 children, while Vassar grads have 1.7. It merely goes to show that women have more chil-dren than men. Dorm Students Accidently Fal is Over Small Rock - 'It's Gold' According to the latest reports compiled from the wires of the in-ternational News Service, a rich strike of gold ore was made on the campus grounds of the Towson State Teachers College. Unconfirmed rumors estimate the precious metal to be of such a nature as to be mined rather profitably for many more years to come. ""It was on Sunday, late in the afternoon,"" stated Miss Ree Fer, dorm student and first discoverer of the gold. ""I thought I'd take a little stroll in the Glen. Somehow, I hit my foot against a rock and stumbled. Cast Unavailable, Paul Cancils 'Lady' ""Lady in the Dark,"" the psycho-logical musical by Moss Hart has been cancelled by Harold C. Paul. An insufficient number of men were found for the dancing and choral choruses, and other difficulties were also encountered. Maria Fenton, choreographer, is in serious condition at Union Me-morial Hosiptal. Blood poisoning, and then gangrene, set in her left leg as a result of a splinter in her foot from dancing in Room 6. Dee Owings, who was to take the part Of ""Liza"" shares the semi-private room. She is under observantion for a mysterious stomach ailment be-lieved to have been caused by the penetration of caffiene in her stomach lining. Jim Peeling, accompanist, has re-ceived a fabulous offer from Ar-thur Godfrey after his recent tele-vision appearance. Bruce Godfrey has been called back into the Na- Lionel Guard for an unknown des-tination, and Al Seitz has been drafted to head a ""Committee for the Promotion of Cultural Back-ground of the Armed Forces."" The ""Union of the United Stage-workers of America"" has demanded that the stagecrews strike for short-er working hours. Serious threats have been made and the FBI has been called in for investigation. They are also expected to explain the sweet, sickening smell of the back room. Kefauver has confiscated one of the tapes recorded by Mel Shaeffer, Ralph Piersanti, and Pete Stewart. These three have taken a firm stand of ""No Comment."" (Meanwhile the same committee is looking for Robert S. Goodman for questioning, while Ellis Wyman is being held without bail as a ma-terial witness.) The group has disbanded and their whereabouts unknown, al-though it is rumored they have taken refuge, with kegs and cartons of supplies, in a secluded farm of one Francis Markline, a former stu-dent. * * * * ""Damn it! Leftovers again,"" said the cannibal as he gnawed on the two old maids. Another reason for not taking life too seriously is that none of us come out of it alive, anyway. My head struck something round and small. I picked it up. I looked at it. It was gold. A moment later I rugs'h back to the barracks, I mean the dorm. I shouted gold! gold! but no one would believe me."" ""After a few minutes,"" states Miss Fer, ""about twenty people followed me to the spot in the Glen. I knew exactly where it was because in falling, I had knocked down a few trees."" � Stated Miss Lee, dorm director, ""this is the first gold rush the col-lege ever had. It'll go down in his-tory. We'll celebrate tonight by having something strong to drink with our dinner."" Already five different claims to mine the gold have been filed in the Registrar's Office in the Ad Build-ing, and many more are being filed daily. It is expected that numerous types of machines will soon be installed in the Glen to aid in extracting the vital ore. Also, by converting with dikes the hugh flowing stream al-ready on the premises to flow over the area containing the gold, it is hoped that gold prospectors will soon be able to pan the metal in hugh quantities. At a recent TOWER LIGHT in-terview, Miss Blood, geography teaeher and general authority and expert on minerology stated, ""This is most irregular. But what are you going to do?"" Many of the neighbors in the vi-cinity of the college are signing and circulating petitions urging the Maryland State Legislature and other legislative bodies within the state to take action and ban the mining of the mineral until the Na-tional Conservation Authorities in Washington have had a chance to study the many problems that the discovery will cause. Stated one Towson neighbor, ""I jest hope and pray that Towson won't turn into another Western-like 'Boom Town.' It would be al-ful, simply awful.' At a recent meeting of the SGA a proposal was made from the floor that the college be compelled to cancel all preesnt schedules and then to re-schedule them all, offer-ing a compulsory (Seniors on stu-dent- teaching excused) three credit course to the entire college. This new course would attempt to edu-cate the student body in the prob-lems and methods employed in min-ing gold. The measure was voted upon and passed by the entire stu-dent body, all of whom attended the SGA assembly. It is expected that this measure now waiting for Dr. Hawkins' signature will then be sent to the Chairman of the"
