tl19560329-000 " No. 13 STATE TEACHERS COLLEGE, TOWSON, MARYLAND March 29, 1956 Likker Vats Unearthed In School Cellar Several days ago, one of our own beloved faculty, whose name is thheld at his request (and a h$2'��0 contribution to the Our , ""light staff helped somewhat) as following his nose to the scillree of a very familiar odor. He afle to the door opposite the Glen ""laYers room marked ""Unsafe."" ;kfter opening the door and tumb-ulg down the steps he came to a all manhole. He ripped it open, �I. the odor was overpowering, 4,1,1c1 jumped. To his surprise and 'easure he landed smack in a vat brew. w Gathered around the witches vat ere the familiar faces of Zeke L:hitehurst, Slobberlips Franko, piza Poln, Peggy Garriques and Nettirlia Goodman. In the corner of e room looking quite pleased ere Dan'l Santman, Elizah Jones 4(1 Ethram Bolster. Lest we for- !et Little Davy De Vita was 01 for joy in the other cor- ,;r Of the ""still"" room. All were t 4`erit on the mixing of bread with St and water. seerns that the ring had been , ating for several semesters l'oii 's-r Since the undying efforts of Rafl and Golden Addy. Bread aa 1 sniuggled from the Ptomine C piece by piece hidden in ,�W rings. Water was obtained 'h Ugh the dissecting kit eye- ,131`)ers. Yeast of course was ,h.ebased through the Student �Ill Association funds. he ring, of course although un-le,; 11t riately so, has been severely With. It's brewer's license been revoked for sixty nine ""r Phe The Men's Dorm is in 3rd Psalm Of A 'iolog y Freshman by Mike DeVita t?t ; Stringer is my Biology q':4411 not pass. 11141aketh me to learn my Phy- 41' recketh my brain. eadeth me in the pathways of a iellee, for my own sake. ,4 ; When I go into the lab li414t work, for he is near me. Qe netic formulas continue to e4 41-Int me. i'veth m2 tests in the presence srnarter peoples. t:�bfuseth me with Biological -tros. t:111Y. bad grades and worry shall ye.:3W me all the days of this 1,4 r, tcl () shall dwell in Room 25 rever. Compliments From OUR PLIGHT Don't Read This! by Mike DeVita This is neither educational, in-teresting, nor amusing, so why bother to read it ? It will be of no help to you mentally, physically, or spiritually. Use your will pow-er; everyone should exercise his will power occasionally and this is a good chance for you. STOP! You are going to feel like an awful fool when you finish this unless you take my advice and quit now. Think back, have you benefitted by this? What is your I.Q. ? This certainly won't im-prove it any. Why don't you stop now ? If people like you would stop, people like us wouldn't write them. STOP! CEASE! DESIST ! HALT! . . . Can't you take a hint? Really we don't want you to read this. Take your dog for a walk, do the dishes, play pinochle, or go fight with your brother. Do any-thing, but please don't read this. Are you still here ? Go away, you bother us! Have you done your Christmas shopping yet? . . . go do it. Do you know how many days there are until Christmas? We don't either, so why don't you go find out! This is positively your last chance. Give up, you don't like it anyway. See, you haven't learned a blasted thing from all this ma-larky. You've come to the end now . . . WAS IT WORTH IT? Hunting Season Opens by Jean Valdiva The hunting season has begun, and the girls are searching for a ""dear."" Not just any ""dear,"" how-ever, one who will be around when-ever she wants him. Their trusty shotguns are close at hand, and the ""season is open on 'dears.'"" ""Dears"" could be one of many different types, but in most cases he will be wearing a charcoal suit, pink-striped button-down shirt and regimental tie and belt. All the ""Annie's"" are saying goodbye to ""you can't get a man with a gun"" and welcoming him with a ""bullet straight through the heart."" Just remember girls, be careful! so that when you return from your hunting sprees you ""bring him back alive!"" Jumping Jam Session by Nancy Craig Hear Ye! Hear Ye! Hear Ye! Come one, come all to the session of jam featuring the Strawberry Kid's Kitchen Swing Orchestra. Among the better instruments which are being used are the fol-lowing: Mother Hubbard's Wash-board, Aunt Jenny's Pans, Joe Shmo's Wooden Spoons, and Pa's Kettle. Keeping the beat going on the drums will be Big Bobbing Bo Bo. Along with him Tiny Tim will be beating out the rhythm on his Tom Tom. (Cont. on Page 1, CoL 4) It Had to Be You by Mike DeVita It had to be you, It had to be you, I wandered around, and finally found . . Yes, I finally found you. I was in the movies eating popcorn on that cool summer evening. I re-member, I dropped the bag and as I bent over to pick up the pieces that had fallen, I saw you under the seat. There was no identifi-cation but a piece of paper clutched in your hand. I took the paper and read . . . ""AT MANILA BAY."" I felt sorry for you, so I took you to the dentist and he gave you teeth. I took you to the hair-dresser and they gave you hair. Then one day I came home and you were gone. I looked for you in all the old familiar places, but you weren't playing cards in the Student Centre, nor were you drinking a coke ( ?) at Souris'. I knew I had lost you. One day I saw you. You were sitting in Humphrey's pool room eating a salami sandwich. I ran to you and told you that I loved you. You told me there was some-one else. ""No,"" I cried, ""No � Don't say that"" � and you � you laughed at me . . . with my teeth! We went speeding along the highway at 50 miles per hour . . . 60, 70, 85 . . . Suddenly! a curve appeared. There was a screech of brakes and a loud crash. When the dust had cleared, I found myself hanging on to the jagged rocks with one hand and you with the other. The rocks were cutting into my flesh. I looked below into the deep canyon and realized that one of us had to go. My hand ached from the rough surface of the rock. I made my d-cision � yes, one of us had to go � It had to be you, wonderful you, It had to be you!, Life In A Dorm If you have ever noticed of the resident men with circles under their eyes and a rather seedy outlook on life, it is only because they have probably been enjoying to the fullest the life in the dormitories. It is not true that no one goes to sleep before 2 a.m., and that the noise is unbearable, but it is almost true. Somehow most of the gentlemen in residence seem to endure their dormitory life. and they even seem to rather enjoy it. Having ups and downs in their ""home away from home."" Water battles, burned fur-niture, broken windows, etc., are among the daily routine, but with ""Mother Wagerman"" to take care of them, and a strong constitution, the boys manage. � � � certain Revolution Plot Bared Recently by Douglas Roxcroft Flash � at 2:30 p.m. on Feb-ruary 31, a plot to overthrow the administration was uncovered thanks to the ceasingly efforts of Dean Clown. Because of the con-stant efforts of our staff of Black-mailers we now have the story in its entirety for you. Our sincere appreciation to the gravediggers union for letting us use this dirt. As Dean Clown walked into our own Ptomine Ptavern from Fool Hall (which as you know, the wimmin are kept) he heard an ar-gument in progress. Being too high minded to eavesdrop, he whipped out his pocket recorder and played them a tune. Then he sat down and accidently, on pur-pose, overheard the following: ""When the faculty of the pen is subdued and all is under control the time has come to march on the President in a body � whose body will be available?"" Dean Clown was astonished. He choked on his delicious nutrition buzzard stew. but being a quick thinker he rushed back to his of-fice. There he put on his Matri Hair suit and rushed back to the cafe ( ?). He caught them (the fighters, of course) just as knives and guns came from the bottom of the chained bridge tables. Swiftly he pulled his sixteen shotter and in sixteen seconds, shot all 32 weapons from their hands. The Administration was very le-nient with the offenders, who are now being pickled and preserved for Spook Night festivities. Cont. from Page 1, Col. 2) This wonderful, marvelous, fab-ulous assortment of music will be presented in the alcove on April 00, 9999 from 1 to 3 a.m. The whole affair will be a sticky mess. A real yummy time will be had by all who attend the jam session ON APRIL FOOL'S DAY News In Brief... English Department Entertains Shakespeare The English department of State Normal was honored to en-tertain Mr. William Shakesphere at an informal tea yesterday aft-ernoon, March 31 . . . History Department Mourns NIXON ELECTED PRESIDENT! Sidelines The food in the dining hall has been awarded the Seal of Approv-al by Heinz 57. Captain Z-Ro to Talk at Towson On April 21, Captain Z-Ro, space expert, will talk on the ""Charms of the Planet Venus."" Captain Z-Ro will be sponsored by the Geog-raphy Fraternity. Glen Players Present On April 8, 9, and 10, the Glen Players will proudly present Wil-liam Inge's ""Pinic."" The male lead will be Dr. William Hartley. The female lead will be Miss Jane Daniels. Mat Men on Tour Mr. Von and his mat men will go on tour the week of April 6-10. They will compete such schools as, Mount St. Agnes, Goucher, Mary Washington, and Notre Dame. Glen Players The Glen Players are holding tryouts for their coming produc-tion of ""In the Clover"" by Coun-tess Barasy. Mackeral Slingers The Mackeral Slingers Union is holding a crusade for an abolish-ment of soap during the beginning of Lent. Holy Rollers Meeting The Holy Rollers are meeting on March 40 at 8888. You all come! New Editor Search The Tower Echoes and the Our Plight are currently looking for new Editors in Cheese due to the fact that the present editors got too involved in layouts. Our Plight Helen Bittrolff Ringleader Al Duke Moneybags Go-Between The ""Moll"" Stool Pigeon Pickpocket Fingers Glinkovsky Safe Cracker Harry Lefty Moore ""Lookout"" Millie Newcombe Blackmailers Ken Gahs, Bill Hoffacker Gun Runners Jim Blinko, Dudley Davis Fence Lynn Colwell The Plight is the official inmate publication of the State Pen at Towson, Maryland published annually by authority of the Plum Eaters Local #23 (in conjunction with the workers for Peace Leningrad Branch). W. Frank Guess Warden Yvonne Miller Julie Moran Nancy Rogers "
